Somebody almost died in my arms..

Yesterday, I had a harrowing time at a bus-stop near my work place.

As, usual, I went to the food market opposites my work place to the Atm to draw some money. I was suppose to give it to my bro-in-low brother. As, I returned to the bus-stop and went up the staircase, I notice both of them weren't there. I thought, maybe, they had already taken the bus home. But, when I turn to look around I saw my bro-in-law holding his brother head who was laying motion-less on the ground. My bro-in-law called out to me for help.

I was a little surprised and walk straight to him and ask him what had happened. Apparently, his brother had suddenly fainted and collapsed. An off duty nurse was already there helping out. I think, my bro-in-law brother is lucky that the nurse alighted from the bus at the right time. She, told him to put the body sideways laying on his left shoulders. From, what I've learned before, the body position help the breathing and if there's vomiting involved then it would flow easily.

It's also important to check the breathing and if there's any blockage by the tongue or whatever. In any case, it's just isn't pure coincidental that she's there. And, a nurse at that. I've always respected nurses and their dedications to the profession. And, she proved I wasn't wrong in that.

I think, it wasn't time yet for my bro-in-law brother to go. But, really. I was already wondering if he was dead as I can see his face turning to white ghost color!

As, I put his head on my thigh, I hold his head and put my hand in front of his opened mouth and I can sense his breathing. I knew, somehow, he's going to be alright. I tried to close his hardened opened mouth but it was lock into that position. Anyway, slowly he regained a bit of consciousness and I can see him opening his eyes. Albeit a bit blur. We ask him questions and all the while my bro-in-law shouted calling his name. I think, that help too as you never know if the soul was actually moving away. If he hears a familiar voice calling out to him in time of his darkness then he will go to the voice. I think, that's also help in him coming back. We don't really know the story of a soul and beyond what we sees. So, I'm just sensing that another world was actually waiting for him on the other side. I guess, it's not his time yet.

Well, anyway. The nurse called the ambulance and when they came we decided after awhile to let him go to the hospital. Although, we think he only fainted. But, after seeing his face turned all white, it's just a safer bet to let the docs take a look at him at the hospital. I went with the ambulance and all the while answering questions about my bro-in-law brother. I told them about him having a hole in his heart and how he just recovered from an operations months before.

Later, at the hospital, we waited nearly 5 hours for him. They took a sample of his blood and it needed two hours to know the result. By the time he was okay-ed by the doctor to return home, it was already 10pm. We took the one bus 147 at a bus-stop near the area and I reached home around 11pm. I told my mom about what happened earlier.

I told her how, I thought he was going to die. But, later he turned out okay. Although, he didn't really remember what happened. In any case, we had a laugh later in the morning at work about what happened yesterday. Today, I'm just happy, that he didn't faint again!

The doc actually gave him 2 days MC and told us that maybe he didn't have enough sleep. I laugh it off as nonsense as the guy is out of work and the only thing he's been doing before working with us was sleeping the whole day!

But, I ask him did he play with the PSP during lunch time and didn't take a nap as usual and he said yes. So, my guess is, he slept late, then he didn't sleep during lunch hours and he was hungry from the smell of the clorex they were using. It does make u feel hungry. So, that could be the reason why he fainted. Then again, he has had fainted a lot of time before yesterday. So, it's not really an un-common thing for him. Only, that, after it happened in front of me, my bro-in-law and me decided it's better for him to be brought to the hospital.

All in all. It was an harrowing experience for me. And, I take it as a learning curve. I've seen before others fainted or having fits but I wasn't always eager to help. But, this time, I had to handle the situation as seeing my bro-in-law almost gone into panic. He didn't really know what to do but called out his brother name. Don't get me wrong. I'm always eager to help those in needs. But, sometime, it need to happens to the one close to you to really know what's going on. And, your reactions to it. Do you panic? Would you know what to do? These are some of the questions I asked myself sometimes, and I guess, some of the training or courses I did, do help. In a way.

Yeah, I'm just happy, I'm home safe right now. But, you never know what's around the corner, ya?

Just, make sure to be prepared for the worst that could happen to you in life and don't panic!!

Try to handle the situation in a calming way. Know, that these things could happen to anyone and at any time and in time of these you need to be in control of yourself, of your emotional state and try to look at it from the outside. Hope, for the best all the time and if not then so be it. Shit happens!

So, good day and take care of yourself. Oh yeah, try to take first aid courses. You never know when you'll need the knowledge.

about life n death..

Sooo, last night I find it hard to sleep. My mind wonder from one thing to another and finally, I just got thinking, how life seems so meaningless to me right now. It's like a vicious cycle. Everyday, I will wake up, go to work and come back from work and that sums up my life right now. The problem is, I know I need to find something interesting or worthwhile to do but, I can't find anything I really like right now.

I've been telling people I'm in a semi-retired mode as, there's nothing much else left I want in life right now. Everthing, seems so boring to me. I don't know, maybe, because I'm leading a simple single life so, I really do have a lot of time in my hand. That's why, I feel it's kind of wasted and I know I could do something worthwhile. I've been thinking about a couple of options I could take. 

For example, I've thought of joining a non-profit organization, maybe to help out the needy or in disaster areas or something like that. I'll like to do my part to help the world. The problem is, I don't know how I can go about doing it. Also, at the same time, I'm kind of lazy. Haha. So, really, I need to get off my butts and start doing something or I'll die of boredom.

The only thing, that keep me excited right now is games. New games, and also new technology. I really like to see new stuff created or designed. That's one thing, that actually makes me want to stay alive. I really want to know what's the future is like in 20 years time. Right now, I think I'm heading towards depression or something like that. I don't know. For me, right now, life seems so meaningless. I've got nothing to live for. Nothing, to look forward to. Nothing, to work hard for.

Hmmm, if this is semi-retirement, I don't know what's full retirement would do to me.

Sometime, when I think about life and death. How, I'm going to die, I just feel that, "GOD, just get it over with. Damn it. Just let me die now!".

Sooner, or later, I'm going to die. I've got nothing in my life right now, that I feel why wait?

Do, I have to wait longer to just die?

When, really is my time?

I just feel empty right now. I don't know. I couldn't sleep yesterday night, thinking about all this. Maybe, I think too much. Maybe, I have too much free time. Maybe, I'm leading a too easy, simple life? Haha!

Once, awhile. These thoughts go through my mind. Once, awhile, I'll feel like I want to die right now. Just get it over with. When, I think about death, I just wonder, I just couldn't stand life anymore. I want to end it. But, I'll have to wait. Maybe not?

I don't know why, I think about death too much. I need to look forward. Need, to find something worthwhile to do with my life. I'll look around. I don't know. Maybe, I'll just lay still and rot to death. I don't know, if I can still long enough anyway. Haha.

I'll always think about life and death. I just hope, something will crop up soon, or I'll just die.

I'll just die.

Die.