Nothin lust forever

Sooo, today, I went to visit my ex-gf of 8 years. We separated around 3 years ago. I emailed her couple of time. There wasn't any response. I still harbor hope that we could some day be together again. But, turn out she's already engaged!

I was really stumped, when was told by her mom. But, I tried to keep my cool. I really wanted to see and talk to her. I, didn't really believe it at first or maybe, didn't want to. But, when her younger brother came back home and ask me what's wrong and told me his sister getting married soon. I finally, slowly started to accept the fact.

I told him, I wanted to see my ex and talk some personal stuff with her. He, was really trying to get me to talk to him instead and told me he's her younger brother. But, I told him, I know that. But, he's not the one I wanted to talk to. Anyway, to cut the story short. I gave him my phone number which somehow I know, she wouldn't call anyway.

I, didn't really get to see her for at least the last time. But, I guess, it's my fault and maybe it's for the better. She's engaged soon to be married. I'm feeling kind of sad. But, at the same time I'm happy cause my plan works. I left her, in the hope that she'll find someone else better. I'm just useless. I can't seem to save enough to get married. I'm too lazy. haha. So, this is what I get for being too damn lazy. Sigh. What, can I do now?

I want to forget the whole episode today. This is the day, that, my love story ended. She's been the one that I had really truly loved. I've been telling her all this while that nothing lust forever. And, so, it came true for me today.

I guess, it's finally over. I should move one. And, so, I should.

Have a great wedding and a long happy married life. I'm happy for you. But, in the end sad for me. But, heck, that's life. I feel like crying, but, I don't really want to. I know, I should. But, again, I think I wouldn't. Sigh. Let's move on..